Marriage Counseling in Kansas City, MO
You’ve put this off for far too long and now things are worse than they have been.
There’s embarrassment and shame for even needing help with this. We should be able to handle this ourselves, we shouldn’t have this hard of a time. They, your person, used to be a sense of solace, but that’s been replaced with conflict and disconnection. Maybe you find yourself in the opposite situation: you just don’t….connect. They have transitioned to being just a roommate. If this sounds familiar, starting couples counseling is an option to consider. You’re not alone. Many couples have been exactly where you are right now: feeling lost, lonely, scared, confused, or hurt. Often, not knowing what the next step is. Experiencing difficulty in your relationship can feel overwhelming and even isolating. It’s common to feel pressured to figure it out or make it work without any real guidance on how to do that. Luckily, you came to the right place!
What is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling is a space and approach that is designed to focus on just that: the couple. In marriage counseling, the goal is to improve the quality of the relationship. Marriage counseling is a place to understand the unhelpful patterns that occur, as well as identify sustainable changes to challenge those patterns and replace them with more effective strategies. Marriage counseling serves as an opportunity to learn better communication skills and work towards a more satisfying future.
Research indicates that about 50% of couples pursue couples counseling, on average around 4 years. Couples pursue marriage counseling for a multitude of reasons. A common hesitation of pursuing marriage counseling is a fear that the therapist will “pick a side.” In reality, there is truth to this. The marriage counselor is on the side of the relationship, not an individual person. The marriage counselor’s job is to identify what is in the best interest of the relationship and offer the skills necessary to meet that standard.
“It is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
How do I know if I need to start marriage counseling?
When it comes to starting marriage counseling, there is not a universal sign that applies to couples across the board. Each relationship has patterns that are typical, as well as patterns that are atypical. However, listed below are some potential signs that your relationship could benefit from marriage counseling:
You and your partner fight like it’s going out of style. Sometimes it truly doesn’t matter what it’s about, anything big or small is fair game. For some couples, the constant fighting is about one or a few topics. Either way, no resolution is met and the fighting continues. Or, if a resolution is arrived upon, it doesn’t stick. The cycle continues. Wash, rinse, repeat.
You and your partner don’t fight. I’m guessing you read that at least twice. But I thought not fighting was a sign of a good relationship? NO! The social script reinforcing that a relationship without conflict is wrong. We have been lied to for decades. If you are not having conflict, you and your partner are probably not actually talking about anything- and that’s a bad thing!
Someone cheated. This is one of the most common reasons that couples pursue marriage counseling. Infidelity is complicated. A harsh reality is that infidelity doesn’t cause a relationship to sour, it’s usually one of the symptoms of a relationship that’s been struggling.
4. You and your partner have just been through a lot of shit. The tricky thing is that this can bring out the worst in us. Things like shared loss of a loved one, job stress, moving, and health complications to name a few can really take a toll on a relationship.
5. You just got engaged, or at least got serious. Yay, congratulations! What an exciting chapter! Whether you’re recently engaged or got serious, premarital counseling can be extremely helpful. Research indicates that the best predictor of a successful and happy marriage is investing in premarital counseling before getting married.
6. You and your partner have kids, responsibilities, and a life. Life can suck sometimes, and often one of the first things to get deprioritized is a relationship. The busyness of life can turn your relationship into ships passing in the night making you feel disconnected and not like part of a team.
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."
— Ursula K. Le Guin
Marriage Counseling in Kansas City, MO can help.
It can feel isolating dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic experience. Fortunately, you don’t have to do it alone. The great news about the effects of trauma and PTSD is that they do not have to last forever. Recovering from trauma and PTSD is possible with the help of a trauma therapist well-versed in many different therapeutic approaches, including Cognitive Processing Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, and Prolonged Exposure Therapy.
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Gottman Method
The Gottman Method is a form of therapy designed to improve communication skills and help build a shared understanding between partners. This is met by addressing communication issues, increasing intimacy and shared fondness, and removing barriers to access a deeper level of connection.
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DBT for High Conflict Couples
DBT, or dialectical behavioral therapy, is a behavioral intervention. DBT focuses on improving emotion regulation, ability to manage stressful events, relationships and assertiveness, and lower impulsivity. When implementing DBT for couples, the aim is to assist couples in regulating their emotions, increase their mindfulness of the person, and to help stay skillful during fights.
Begin Marriage Counseling in Kansas City, MO
You don’t have to go through this on your own. Our marriage counselors are trained in a variety of interventions to assist you in improving your relationships. Our marriage counselors are happy to help in our conveniently located therapy office in Independence, MO or through online therapy in Missouri. When you’re ready to get started, follow these steps:
Fill out our easy to use online questionnaire to schedule a free consultation.
Get to know our team of marriage counselors.
Feel the love.